Saturday, March 20, 2010

Introverts. Are we shy? Innocent? Naive? Nope!

It continues to occur to me that that introverts are viewed as anything but "normal." Are their truly more extroverts than introverts or is it just that extroverts receive more positive attention? It is my belief that extroverts are more so rewarded socially, in the job market and in the media.
I do not find myself envious but this has been my observation.

It has also been my observation that introversion is often viewed as a weakness, as a lesser preferred personality type, as naive, innocent or shy.



In regards to the shy/innocence comparison Louis A. Schmidt, director of the Child Emotion Laboratory at McMaster University has stated, "Though in popular media they're often viewed as the same, we know in the scientific community that, conceptually or empirically, they're unrelated".

Schmidt and Arnold H. Buss of the University of Texas wrote a chapter titled "Understanding Shyness" for their book The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal. They write, "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort."

Psychology Today blogger Sophia Dembling states in a recent blog post that the "differentiation between motivation and behavior is consistent with the ability many of us have to behave like extroverts when we choose, whereas shy people cannot turn their shyness off and on."

Dembling goes on to say, "So someone who is introverted and shy will behave differently from someone who is introverted and not shy, who will behave differently from someone who is extroverted and shy, who will behave differently from someone who is extroverted and not shy. These distinctions help explain the range of behaviors and emotions people describe in the comments on this blog-some people sound bold, some timid, some are comfortable with their attitudes towards socializing, some long to be different."

Just recently I read a post on Psychology Today online (which I often find to be too much of a pop-psych magazine) which suggests that introverts who prefer meaningful conversations to idle chit chat may be happier and more content.

The article goes on to say that this does not mean that extroverts who appreciate chit chat are not content but it research suggests that deeper conversations and socialization often brings forth greater satisfaction.


(source)

It's not too surprising of a conclusion and it is not as if extroverts are incapable of meaningful conversation.

I just suggest to those who find discomfort when encountering an introvert just know that we prefer one to one conversation rather than group cheery chit chat.

If we are not outgoing it does not mean we are shy, if we are not quite as loud we are not innocent, and if we choose not to comment on something we are not interested in we are not naive.

As an introvert myself I can say that when I am within a group I may not feel the need to voice my opinion as I already know how I feel. I may not feel the need to laugh out loud even if I am mildly amused on the inside. I may not feel the need to chime in as the sentiments have already been expressed.

Do I always present this way? No. But it is all about the amount of energy I feel comfortable extolling. This may seem rather fussy but understand that introverts gain energy from one on one interactions more so than group interactions. Extroverts are often the exact opposite.

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