Monday, July 27, 2009

Men that want dolls not women


Guys and Dolls Documentary

I saw a documentary that was posted on AppetiteForEqualRights.blogspot.com entitled Guys and Dolls. The documentary features men who engage in relationship with life like sex dolls. A strange and disappointing phenomenon to say the least.

The doll website allows an individual to create their ideal "woman". Pubic hair costs extra and can be made of actual donated pubic hair. While many of the men in the documentary speak more so about their need for companionship than sex, the website itself features its dolls posed in erotic and stereotypically enticing positions. The site looks very much like something from a porn website or magazine. Some of the dolls are quite frightening in that they are ill proportioned with teeny waists and HUGE breasts. But of course men are able to modify what they like.

One of the men in the documentary makes a comment that speaks to one of the reasons why I think pornography is unhealthy. He mentions that if he is aroused he can simply take out one of his dolls and have sex with it. He acknowledges that this cannot happen with a woman as she "has a brain" and one must ask her if she would like to have sex. Part of the appeal of pornography and these dolls is that the man has complete control. It's about dominance not just about fear of rejection or inadequacy. So, what happens is that the man forge confidence by trading a healthy social life with a solitary one with his doll. I'm not sure how many men are aware that their are objectifying women through this practice. Those who are aware seem to ignore that fact and go on with it as their desire and loneliness takes over.

I find it interesting to watch the men paint lipstick on the woman and dress them. It's an activity that many of us think is reserved for small children. I also find it interesting to hear some of the names the men give their dolls. The only occasions I've ever really heard men speak of female names they enjoy is when they are considering a name for a soon to be daughter.

The doll website sells male dolls as well. I think it would be interesting if the documentary featured women that are interested in male dolls, men that are interested in male dolls and women that are interested in women dolls.

To be honest I have some sympathy for these men. While I do not agree with their behaviors and I do think that they need to understand that this practice is unhealthy, I do think that they must be in a lot of pain. I don't think most people start out with the desire to engage with a synthetic toy. I think that most people desire human contact, human acceptance, human love, and human compassion. These men have felt so lonely that they not only have sex with the dolls but they attempt to have some sort of relationship with them.

When I saw this documentary I was reminded of a great movie, Lars and the Real Girl. The movie stars Ryan Gosling, an actor who's work I greatly admire. In the film Gosling plays a young man who is quirky, kind and shy. He begins dating a sex doll, however there is no mention or insinuation of sex being had in the film. The doll actually does not believe in pre-marital sex. Gosling's character "dates" his new "girlfriend" and does so in response to some inner turmoil. In an attempt to appease him, the entire town decides to pretend that this doll is real.



In my view, the film has more to do with emotional and psychological needs than some odd fetish. I think that this is the case with the men in the Guys and Dolls documentary.

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