A Serious Look At The Penis

This may seem like an odd topic but it's something I've been thinking about lately. I've opened a dialogue with several friends and decided to post some thoughts in a blog.

I want to talk about.....penises!

Yep!

I have a lot of different feelings about penises. But I'm wondering what men's thoughts are on their own.

As for me...there are indeed moments when the thought of a penis disgusts me. When I see it as something that can be used for violence and domination. Whether it's rape or whether it is a man having sex with a willing partner but his mindset is quite dominating and selfish.

The penis is often praised in our culture and catered to through the media. However, there are those who propose the idea that penises can reflect beauty through artistic means. Our history is full of sculptures, paintings and photos that display the penis. I appreciate this view can value the penis as a part of the body that has a complex form.

That being said, there are also moments when I see the penis as something that is quite silly or humble. It is especially during these moments that I am amazed that so many men allow the size of their egos to be determined by the size of their penises.
Just as I can only assume there are men who find the vagina beautiful, weird, silly, complex, simple...so I find the penis.

It amazes me that women who enjoy magazines such as Play Girl (does that magazine even exist anymore?) and male strippers actually whoop and holler at the sight of a man in a tight speedo type contraption or enjoy to see a penis flopping around. To see a man pose in a "sexy" pose while naked...attempting to exploit his penis just as a women exploit themselves in the media just seems silly and inauthentic. To see a man attempting to appear strong, bold and macho when in my mind the penis in the middle of his body actually softens his image. It shows me a delicate part of himself. I am not swayed into thinking that a penis is powerful just because a penis is capable of becoming larger and hard.

Most certainly when I am in a relationship I view the penis as a humble part of the body. I can only hope that whoever I end up with next have an openness to talking about what our bodies mean to each other.


(Geoduck Clam and the mascot of my alma mater The Evergreen State College)

I found a book on amazon.com called The Penis Dialogues: Handle with Care. I read the reviews for it and one reviewer said that it was just a bunch of men being more open about sexist conversations they usually have with their buddies. That saddens me. I haven't read the book, but is that really the only way men can talk about their penises? I would love to read a book that shares sotries that are as open as The Vagina Monologues are. But I know that men aren't raised to speak out in that way.

As a woman I recognize that I am still on a journey to understanding, accepting, and loving my own vagina. I certainly have a love/hate relationship with it. I think it is important for young girls to understand that having a healthy sexual relationship with themselves is not only celebratory, not only empowering, but vital. In this world a woman's sexuality is often seen as not her own but in relation to another human being. A man's is usually connected overcoming another human being in some form.

I am not suggesting that a man or woman should romanticize their genitalia to be some mystic entity that should be worshiped. But I do think that there is nothing wrong with celebrating one's self. I do think that body parts can serve more than basic functioning. My hands and arms are used for reaching, grasping, pushing, pulling, itching, touching. But why not celebrate features of my specific hands and arms? Use them to dance, use them for art? Understand that no one has my arms and hands?

Additionally I think it is important that penises and vaginas, breasts and anuses can all be a part of my every day life even without any sexual energy present. There are moments when I can be playful and silly with ap artner and understand that there is beauty and meaning in our bodies whether we are in the throws of passion or whether we decide to respectfully find playfulness in shapes and functions of our parts.

I can only hope for the future of men that they can learn to see that their penises do not make them stronger. That they can celebrate themselves but also feel humbled by their own bodies. Hell, I don't think that my vagina makes me a bad ass chick. But many men seem to think that their penis is an all mighty sword. That it makes them macho/more than who they are.

I would love for men to open themselves to their own journey of self-awareness. Unfortunately, I think that it's a concept that man (not all) are not open to. It might not even dawn on some men that this kind of journey might be beneficial to them and to their partners. How can we change this?